Selected Review of the Day: STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE (1999)

As we all know Star Wars: The Force Awakens soon approaches in a couple of months. And I cannot wait! If any you don't know, I am a HUGE Star Wars fans. Like millions of other people the Star Wars movies, the original trilogy, anyways are some of my favorite movies of all time. These films, initially with the 1977 original, changed cinema forever and took over the world by force, pun intended. Many of today's filmmakers cite Star Wars as one of their major inspirations. Now every blockbuster that comes out wants to be Star Wars. They want their movies not only to be as financially successful, but also to leave that much of an impact. Star Wars is simply a cultural phenomenon. Because of the new movie, every week I will be reviewing a Star Wars movie each week, Episodes I-VI, from the beginning of the actual story. Why? Well, let's say its best to get some of the unpleasant stuff  out of the way first before we get to the really good stuff.

So without further ado, lets travel back in time to the year 1999, when the first movie in a new trilogy of Star Wars prequels called Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace was released. Now I was about six years old at the time, and to be honest at the time I was not much of a Star Wars fan. I didn't become a full devoted fan until I was 11-12, around the same time Revenge of the Sith was coming out. I didn't hate Star Wars, I was fully aware of its existence. Trust me, though I was small I still remember the TONS LOAD of merchandise and marketing this film had at the time. I remember getting an R2-D2 cup and a Darth Maul toy from Taco Bell. Though I find it weird to this day, though I was not a Star Wars fan at the time, I still had a Darth Maul T-Shirt and I was Darth Maul that year for Halloween. So when I was small, I was not aware of the reaction this film got, only the hype. It was only till I was preteen did I learn that this movie was not loved by Star Wars fans. And after watching it, I can see why. I understand why Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, would be considered a major disappointment.

 

Something to know about this movie and the rest of the Star Wars prequels, is that they assembled a promising and potential cast, but they hardly used to their full use. Liam Neeson plays Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Neeson is an actor who I love watching, especially in action movies, because he is just one of those guys who you will always remember with his tall presence and deep, gravely, and somewhat intimidating voice. But the character he plays in this somewhat forgettable. Qui-Gon Jinn is suppose to be this wise and powerful Jedi Master, but there is nothing special about him. The most memorable thing he does is talk about some midichlorian nonsense, but we'll save that for later. Ewan McGregor plays a young Obi-Wan Kenobi, who again is nothing special here. I feel like he just there just to be Anakin's mentor by the end. There is no real character arc that he goes through that I remember. But to be fair, he does get a little better by the end of the prequel trilogy, but we will get to those later. Natalie Portman, who I have proclaimed my love for countless times before as an actress who encompasses major talent and beauty, is also not used to her full potential, Her lines are often delivered very weak with no sense of character to back it up. I hate to criticize my lady, but its a shame to see someone like Portman, who was a rapidly rising star at the time, not used enough for their advantage. Then we got Jake Lloyd, as a young Anakin Skywalker, the future Darth Vader. Look I respect George Lucas as the great grandfather and creator of all things Star Wars, but to this day I always ponder why did he get the an 8-year old boy to play the part of the future Darth Vader. When I think the greatest threat the galaxy has ever known, I do not think of little 8-year old boy that yells "yipee!". Also if Padme, was going to be Anakin's love interest in the future, why get a small child if she is a teenager. Wouldn't it make more sense to have a teenage Anakin Skywalker that was roughly around Natalie Portman's age at the time, that way the chemistry and romance can start building. Also Portman would not feel as uncomfortable as she is here, if she had the chance to portray a Padme who started to get an affection for a teenage Jedi prodigy. On top of that Jake Lloyd does not particularly do a very good job in the acting department. It's hard to pick on a child actor, and I know he's trying, but he just does not work. I don't know what Lucas was thinking in both casting and directing this kid. We also have appearances from Samuel L. Jackson as Jedi Master, Mace Windu, and Yoda himself. But even Sam Jackson and Yoda are unimpressive here. Somehow, some way, this film had managed to make these two uninteresting. Mace Windu is just boring and dead pan, foreign to what type of characters Samuel L. Jackson usually plays. The puppetry for Yoda is a big step down from The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. And yes there is Jar Jar Binks, the most hated character in everything Star Wars. What else can you say? He's annoying, irritating, useless, unimaginative, lame, immature, stupid, there is nothing else to say. This character is so bad, that it is practically speechless! With characters as boring as wheat toast, there really isn't anything else in the movie that can be saved. 





Maybe back in 1999 these visual effects were a marvel to look at, but in my opinion, they do not hold up that much. Much of this is because of George Lucas' decision to overuse CGI effects. CGI can be amazing as long as they blend in well and are practically invisible. It's supposed to be like a illusion, you are just to be amazed by it, not know that it is just an illusion. And the CG effects stick out like a sore thumb in the film. Just look at how much Jar Jar and the other CGI characters and creatures stand out from the rest of the cast. It's like the cast have invaded a much less impressive version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I can think of several couple of decades old films with visual effects that still blow my mind like Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Jurassic Park, and yes even Who Framed Roger Rabbit. But in this movie, the visual effects are just a distraction. Because of this, I really started to miss some of the magic the practical costume and make-up, stop-motion, and animatronic effects from the original trilogy, and those are light years ahead impressive than these effects! Even though they save the most and only exciting part of the movie, the lightsaber duel between Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth Maul, till the end, it's still a pretty cool scene I have to admit. Though, the lightsaber duels do seemed a bit choreographed, despite how impressive and elegant they look. Yes, some of the lightsaber combat in the original trilogy was pretty standard, but you still felt the weight and drama of the conflict in those duels. Along with John Williams' score, especially his "Duel of the Fates" track that plays during the duel. "Duel of the Fates" is such a masterpiece of an epic and grand song, I probably think it is the best song in all of the Star Wars movies, ironic that it comes from probably the most hated of the movies. 



The story, I don't know where to begin. First of all hardly any of these choices and plot points are plauisble, easy to follow, or interesting. I don't there's some nonsense about a trading scandal from the Trade Federation and how they took control of the planet Naboo, Padme's home. Yeah because when I think of Star Wars, I think of trading scandals! Now the Jedi has to free them while trying to find the Sith Lord, while going to Tatooine for something I don't remember. Was it just to pick up Anakin? Then on Tatooine, we waste our time with a Pod Race that could've been exciting, if it wasn't fifteen minutes long and we didn't have to run around the same boring desert track three times. I mean seriously throw in a sandstorm, the Sarlacc pitt, or a Rancor, or something! Then we get a lot into politics. Now politics in Star Wars actually sounds like a fascinating idea. Because if recent history has taught us anything, there is no "war" without politics. But they make it SO boring here! None of this semi-circle political talk they have like over ten times in this movie is interesting. Also we get the midichlorian nonsense from Qui-Gon Jinn, and how the Force is made of these little cell things and the count of them determines how Force sensitive someone is. Funny, because I thought the Force was a mystic element that connects to nature and life like how Obi-Wan and Yoda explained it in the original trilogy.

 When I think of Star Wars, I think of fun and exciting action, memorable characters, interesting storytelling, and not a scene that is boring. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace is such a disappointment in the Star Wars series, that I have nothing else to say how much of a dud this movie is. I'm sure there were good intentions and interesting ideas, but most of them did not work at all! Well, that was one down, next week Attack of the Clones! Oh yeah, get ready for some awkward terribly written boring romance! 


GRADE: CR